A few years ago, I unearthed by kindergarten report card and found the following comment from my teacher, Mrs. Von Dohlen:
Sara is a sweet child but needs to work on self-control.
Not much has changed. Except that I spent 33 years in school. I learned self-control and how to be disciplined. Then I learned how to question and be curious about the limits of traditional models for understanding and regulating self-control and discipline. Finally I learned that those models were too damaging to me and my flourishing. They stifled my creativity and curiosity and stripped me of my joy.
Now I’m experimenting with how to regain that joy but in ways that are focused and attentive to the dangers of over-exuberance. This attentiveness is not about controlling myself or being disciplined, but something else, something that involves being dedicated, determined and unDisciplined.
As unDisciplined, I want to reclaim my passion for engaging with ideas, authors, theories and education that the academy sparked within me and then, over the course of 33 years in school, disciplined out of me.